Personal Growth – Live&Work 4healthyu

“Hon, have you found your place?”

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Uncategorized

If you close your eyes, I bet you can think of many places you once thought were heaven! You arrived there and found beauty, contentment, inspiration, peace, and more. For example, I visited an enchanting, rural, sun-kissed retreat in the southeast a few years ago. It still is magnificent. But today, I realize my sense of the perfect place has changed, and I see people, places, and things differently.

The perfect place is more than just a fantastic beach, lake, or national park. Your place could be a favorite city, town, or country. Your place is a long-desired job, an industry, business, or profession that allows you to be your best or earn a living. Perhaps your place is a church, gym, home, school, or any location that captures your mind, body, and spirit. I discovered my happy place after moving from a cold state to a more temperate climate, and now I love winters at home!

Perhaps your place is with people. You feel like you’re in the right place with great friends, family, a loving partner or spouse, or whomever you call your people. Once again, the list could be long here. In your mind and heart, you know when the right folks surround you!

Beyond places and people, we find joy in things. My perfect list included a summer night baseball game with fireworks, a championship basketball game, concerts, and fun 5K and 10K races. My perfect things included roller skating, movies, and great art at local museums. And finally, my happy place had good books, writing, and blogs, all things I could lose myself in.

A friend once suggested I stop searching for a perfect place in life and focus on the here and now! He thought I was missing something, not fully appreciating the moment, and always looking for something else. My feelings about my happy place have evolved as I’ve gotten older. Indeed, I must give myself the time, patience, and grace to enjoy the many experiences before me that confirm – I’ve found my place!

OMG, the finish line!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Fitness, I Feel Good!

I wanted to experience the waves and adulation of cheering crowds and the loud bells and whistles on race day! A lovely professional photograph and medal would be sweet too! Instead, I arrived at the finish line of my virtual 10K alone, but with a new appreciation for all that motivates, inspires, and strengthens me in my health and wellness journey.

I worked diligently with a local YMCA training club. I was well prepared but wasn’t crazy about the logistics of getting to and from the big event, let alone twenty-five thousand athletes and visitors. Finally, after an awful night with little sleep, I woke late and set out on a personal timed race. At this moment, I saw my first motivation (me!) and an intense need to get the job done! I told myself that this day was like every other one, that I needed to move, and that the exercise made me feel great! Days like this are often solitary for me but no less powerful.

As I completed my 10K, I realized how inspired I’ve been by family members no longer with us. Some had significant health issues. Some wished they could have been more active in their adult years. I also thought about people I know who wish they could be more physically active right now but can’t. But then, I saw their faces as I exercised – grinning, smiling, waving, and encouraging me on race day!

I previously shared how much I enjoyed practicing with the YMCA training group and missed my team! But on race day, I felt their presence and was empowered and inspired by their stories. Some had injuries and overcame illnesses. Some managed busy schedules and stressful jobs. One shared how depression and a breakup challenged her. Today, we’re all now on the other side of everyday challenges. This realization made me feel pretty darn good!

I approached the finish line (a hot, sweaty mess!) with a smile. The sun shone, the clouds held the rain, and the day was unseasonably warm. Once again, I realized the outdoors and exercise can feel like a spiritual, grounding and life-affirming experience. I cooled down and thanked God for my safe journey. I felt great at the finish line and look forward to doing this again!

Just forget & move on, you say?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, I Feel Good!, Uncategorized

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

Have you ever wished people would forget the past and just move on? I sometimes thought this as I listened to the drama of family, friends, and co-workers. I now see this is easier said than done! One sunny afternoon, this thought resonated with me.

While running errands, I suddenly stopped and parked in front of a home I once lived. I had great dreams, hopes, and plans when I moved in! But I was also in the same position as most people: starting a new school experience, a new job, or even a new relationship. You know that place where we sit with so much hope and promise before life happens!

I soon compared my dreams and hopes to my actual experience. I had good times and success along the way, but I also endured a few setbacks and disappointments too. At one point, I even wondered if I had initially made the right decision to move here! I left my car to walk and ponder this period in my life.

Suddenly, I had an epiphany! My experience was necessary and got me to this point in my life! This home and neighborhood came with valuable lessons and personal growth. And yes, I could say the same about my university days, my job, and my relationships along the way. They represented key moments in my life, and so I’m glad I never missed them! I realized it’s not wise to second-guess and obsess about the past! I drove away convinced I should focus on the present and future.

The emotional dimension of wellness offers a window into the heart, mind, and soul. Indeed, I sometimes sort through old messy thoughts but inevitably focus on today and tomorrow. I also ask myself hard questions and face the answers with honesty and courage. Finally, I discovered this practice allows me to process everything and move on!

Families & Wellness

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Caught In the middle, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Uncategorized

This post isn’t about families sharing healthy meals and exercising together. Honestly, we can’t talk about wellness and ignore challenging family dynamics that often directly impact our own. We’re social beings and connected to someone from birth. So, while bingeing on an old TV drama recently, I could see fascinating ways families strengthen and hinder our wellness.

I watched Brothers & Sisters, a 2006 drama with an ensemble cast featuring Sally Field and Calista Flockhart. Calista played a fiery, conservative talk-show host, and Field was her equally opinionated, liberal mom. But unfortunately, politics can bring out the worst in families! Wonderful gatherings quickly descended into battles with wounded egos.

Besides politics, there are other potential minefields in families. For example, just like this tv family, today’s families sometimes confront issues and questions involving abuse, divorce, faith, money, sexuality, etc. Any one of these issues and many others test the strength of family bonds.

Birth order offers a fascinating wrinkle too. The oldest felt pressures and responsibilities their younger siblings didn’t have. And, of course, those in the middle felt abandoned or ignored! But amazingly, resentments also surfaced based on childhood memories, and some memories are decades old!

Being a television show, Brothers & Sisters dramatically introduced family secrets, or those parts of our lives long-buried. But, of course, this family had big, juicy secrets and no filter! Every secret saw the light of day, and there was no respect for privacy or boundaries in the family.

As we all traverse life, sometimes we do so with imperfect family memories and relationships. Yet, being wellness-focused makes us want to live better despite the past. You may conclude that your wellness journey is more important. Indeed, I hope we all smartly navigate our family drama and history and focus on healthy, loving connections. Just look beyond annoyances and distractions, and see clearly.

Grief

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Uncategorized

We all have a personal story about grief. We have lost people we loved or will in time. That was the premise of one speaker at a recent Toastmasters event.

She spoke about the pain of loss, shared a profile of loved ones, and the motivation behind many new activities in her life now. These helped fill some of the space. Grief is not easy to discuss, and my friend drew us in with light humor.

As she spoke, I couldn’t help but think about the family and friends I had lost recently and even decades ago! Yet, there is still space in my heart and vivid memory of smiles, laughter, and many large and small idiosyncrasies! A good example is my dad, who died thirty years ago. I remember his voice, tall stature, and many funny and wise sayings.

Today’s grown-up lesson is that grief is real and shared, and everyone we love leaves something precious behind! Just stop and think about a relay race and the passing of the baton. Our loved ones ran hard, lived as long and fully as possible, but ultimately stopped and passed on the baton.

I’m suddenly smiling, thinking about the “gifts” of so many. I feel I can go on and live my life, empowered, having known and loved many beautiful people who graced my life.

How S.M.A.R.T are you?

September 19, 2021November 16, 2021 by ETWellness, posted in Uncategorized

I welcomed the gift of a one-day workshop on goal setting. This was a freebie! I thought, why not Zoom in and participate? I’d like to share my experience.

We started with a deep dive into the past year. We discussed Corvid-19, job disruption, WFH, vaccines, masks, etc. Well, you know “our” story. We then focused on what we could do differently and what we had the power to change.

We took a fresh look at key domains in our life (spiritual, emotional, vocational, financial, social, physical, parental, intellectual, and avocational). We examined limiting beliefs that held us back and how we could bravely slay those beliefs with new attitudes and thinking.

You probably know the acronym or roll your eyes at the thought! S.M.A.R.T goals are often discussed in the context of work. Our goals should be specific, measurable, actionable, risky (reasonably), and timely. In this workshop, we explored personal goals (and careers) with new purpose and excitement.

I considered each domain of life with an ambitious goal or two. We broke down our goals into specific tasks over months, weeks, and even days. We learned how to journal and periodically reassess plans.

Fun fact: rewards are critical to your success! When I exercise 5X weekly, I order a movie or visit a beautiful local park. When I meet my monthly goals, I might purchase a pound of Star Bucks coffee or bake. If I meet quarterly goals, I’m looking forward to new clothes!

Taking a S.M.A.R.T look at all dimensions of my life was inspiring and fun. My big goals and dreams became smaller, manageable, and less stressful. One of my avocational interests was to write more this year. Well, look at me now! I’m on track and reevaluating other goals. No more New Year’s resolutions for me! I’m planning to work hard and be smart with my goals!