Health & Wellness – Live&Work 4healthyu

Hey, what’s your story?

August 26, 2023 by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Lifestyles

My fellow travelers eyed me curiously as one older lady inquired at the dinner table, “What’s your story?” With all eyes focused on me, I laughed, put down my fork and knife, and shared. I had a story and purpose for visiting Cuba.

Years later, that moment stayed with me as I read a self-published autobiography of a family member. Some in the family wondered what she had to say and why. One person admitted she didn’t care for this type of writing but enjoyed books about celebrities. She believed they had great stories!

You couldn’t be more wrong, I thought. You needn’t be rich, famous, or popular to have a story! You don’t need to be infamous or saintly, either. Protagonists also don’t have to be esteemed artists, musicians, politicians, scientists, etc. to have a story worth telling!

In my cousin’s book, she shared remarkable accomplishments in public service, church, education, and law enforcement. Her humanity, grit, and faith appealed to me as she discovered her life’s purpose. She was a child, woman, mother, and daughter taking steps forward and backward with seismic missteps. Her story was raw and authentic.

I’ve also loved books about athletes, actors, billionaires, and wellness gurus chronicling their paths to fame and fortune. Why do we put them and their stories on a pedestal but not show respect for ordinary folks who aren’t fixtures in the news? Someone must have a crazy, wild, or dramatic “movie of the week” sized story to impress us!

These are strange times, and our overly stimulated senses make us demanding! Instead of simply being curious and open to whatever experience a writer offers, we look to be entertained and enthralled.

When I shared “my story” about why I traveled to Cuba many years ago, I knew my trip was a small part of my life journey. My table listened because we all had our reasons for traveling. One day, I hope to share my larger story in a book. I salute my cousin for boldly sharing her autobiography and feel inspired.

“Hon, have you found your place?”

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Uncategorized

If you close your eyes, I bet you can think of many places you once thought were heaven! You arrived there and found beauty, contentment, inspiration, peace, and more. For example, I visited an enchanting, rural, sun-kissed retreat in the southeast a few years ago. It still is magnificent. But today, I realize my sense of the perfect place has changed, and I see people, places, and things differently.

The perfect place is more than just a fantastic beach, lake, or national park. Your place could be a favorite city, town, or country. Your place is a long-desired job, an industry, business, or profession that allows you to be your best or earn a living. Perhaps your place is a church, gym, home, school, or any location that captures your mind, body, and spirit. I discovered my happy place after moving from a cold state to a more temperate climate, and now I love winters at home!

Perhaps your place is with people. You feel like you’re in the right place with great friends, family, a loving partner or spouse, or whomever you call your people. Once again, the list could be long here. In your mind and heart, you know when the right folks surround you!

Beyond places and people, we find joy in things. My perfect list included a summer night baseball game with fireworks, a championship basketball game, concerts, and fun 5K and 10K races. My perfect things included roller skating, movies, and great art at local museums. And finally, my happy place had good books, writing, and blogs, all things I could lose myself in.

A friend once suggested I stop searching for a perfect place in life and focus on the here and now! He thought I was missing something, not fully appreciating the moment, and always looking for something else. My feelings about my happy place have evolved as I’ve gotten older. Indeed, I must give myself the time, patience, and grace to enjoy the many experiences before me that confirm – I’ve found my place!

What did you just say?!!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Mental health

Have you ever met someone who offered you more honesty than you were prepared for? Maybe they were “keeping it real” or exhibiting some “profile in courage.” “Since May is “Mental Health Month,” I’ve had a few conversations that made me ponder the value of open, honest communication.

While getting my car serviced, I observed a store employee being asked for assistance. The employee asked the customer to wait for the manager. He added, “I’d help you, but I don’t read or write.” I sat listening to this humble working man. I was privately stunned and mortified, thinking we don’t all share the same fundamental path and life experience. So, I appreciated him for his kindness and work ethic as we chatted, and he located and escorted me to my car.

A polite encounter with a retired neighbor also led to another revelation. I noticed her new car missing in our parking lot and assumed she was out of town. She volunteered, “No, it was repoed!” she said. I expressed sympathy for her plight, sharing that banks are heartless. She smiled and said she hoped to get it back. I walked away thinking I learned more than I ever thought about my neighbor on a carefree evening walk.

We often politely ask, “How are you?” and folks tell us! I soon learned about breakups, bankruptcies, job losses, foreclosures, illnesses, tragic deaths, and other life-altering events. In fact, sometimes, a casual and friendly chat goes deep very quickly. Some people might overshare, but some are living through difficult times and have a lot on their minds.

You can learn much about living and owning your truth from people who’ve “been there and done that.” I first noticed honesty and realness with a relative once she retired and her husband passed. She would reflect on her life and speak of survival and growth. Fortunately, she found her voice! She shared whatever troubled her and refused to keep pain and frustration inside.

Many people don’t abide by old notions of personal and emotional boundaries or being too proud to talk. Talking is good, given the concern about the impact of isolation and loneliness today among the young and old. People aren’t disappearing and hiding their painful or embarrassing truths! A friend reminded me that people must be honest and open; how else could you know someone without this? And how could you possibly help without putting the truth on the table?

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

OMG, the finish line!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Fitness, I Feel Good!

I wanted to experience the waves and adulation of cheering crowds and the loud bells and whistles on race day! A lovely professional photograph and medal would be sweet too! Instead, I arrived at the finish line of my virtual 10K alone, but with a new appreciation for all that motivates, inspires, and strengthens me in my health and wellness journey.

I worked diligently with a local YMCA training club. I was well prepared but wasn’t crazy about the logistics of getting to and from the big event, let alone twenty-five thousand athletes and visitors. Finally, after an awful night with little sleep, I woke late and set out on a personal timed race. At this moment, I saw my first motivation (me!) and an intense need to get the job done! I told myself that this day was like every other one, that I needed to move, and that the exercise made me feel great! Days like this are often solitary for me but no less powerful.

As I completed my 10K, I realized how inspired I’ve been by family members no longer with us. Some had significant health issues. Some wished they could have been more active in their adult years. I also thought about people I know who wish they could be more physically active right now but can’t. But then, I saw their faces as I exercised – grinning, smiling, waving, and encouraging me on race day!

I previously shared how much I enjoyed practicing with the YMCA training group and missed my team! But on race day, I felt their presence and was empowered and inspired by their stories. Some had injuries and overcame illnesses. Some managed busy schedules and stressful jobs. One shared how depression and a breakup challenged her. Today, we’re all now on the other side of everyday challenges. This realization made me feel pretty darn good!

I approached the finish line (a hot, sweaty mess!) with a smile. The sun shone, the clouds held the rain, and the day was unseasonably warm. Once again, I realized the outdoors and exercise can feel like a spiritual, grounding and life-affirming experience. I cooled down and thanked God for my safe journey. I felt great at the finish line and look forward to doing this again!

OMG, give me a break!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Uncategorized

In this country, we treat vacations like one big buffet! We’re ravenous and must devour everything to get our money’s worth! Admittedly, I’m greedy too, but I understand what feeds our collective hunger!

Many of us need more time for travel! When you’ve only a few weeks of vacation time, personal time off (PTO), or, sadly, no paid leave in this country, you feel pressured to maximize the experience. So you rush to your destination and try to see and do as much as possible! Add the misery of traveling today(air, train, and road traffic), and we’re all more stressed.

Travel is wicked expensive! Lodging, transportation, meals, and entertainment can break the bank! Still, we often seek to squeeze in as much as we can. Have you ever splurged on an over-the-top vacation experience? On the other hand, have you ever stayed with family and friends to reduce expenses? Your overspending or thriftiness reflects your response to the cost of travel.

We desperately seek diversions from our daily lives! On the one hand, our minds and bodies beg for variety, stimulation & excitement; on the other, we need rest and a break. When we go on vacation, we feel like the moment is fleeting! So, we rush to get all that we can!

I recently planned a long weekend in the nation’s capital. I had ten things on my list (including museums, monuments, restaurants, etc.). But then, it suddenly hit me that I need R&R too! So, I crossed off most of my list and focused on a few good memories rather than demanding more!

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

So, what do you want to be when you grow up?

November 27, 2022November 27, 2022 by ETWellness, posted in Careers, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, I Feel Good!, Physical Therapy, Smart and Well, Uncategorized

This question remains oddly perplexing for kids and adults as we contemplate the next steps in our lives. Choices become even more nerve-racking for adults as the clock ticks away! While watching a favorite weekly drama on television, I heard some sage advice worth sharing.

Let’s start with one annoying, bright, fictional character, a firefighter on an ABC show called Station 19. She is overwhelmed by personal convictions and talent and can’t get out of her own way in life. Finally, her exasperated mentor told her frustrated mentee that the answer was in front of her! In addition, she should look at the job she already knows so well. After this, she should consider an open new role demanding her strong crisis management and people skills.

Further, the mentee’s purpose isn’t some big giant illusive thing to be discovered. Instead, your purpose will reflect everything you’ve done. Everything you’ve done connects the dots in your life and allows you to bring meaning and value to yourself and others. The mentor said that all those dots make you ideal for one area or another, and you’re perfect for leadership now!

In the last few years, I’ve focused on my dots or interests in many areas. Mine include travel, writing, reading, fitness, volunteer projects, etc. I’ve changed jobs to reflect my evolving interests and skills and pivoted away from work that doesn’t interest me.

In one good hour of must-see TV, one can learn something new or confirm what you already know! The answer to what is next is often right in front of you or in places you’ve already ventured. However, it may take a trusted mentor, friend, advisor, or just a little personal courage to see what is in front of you.

Just forget & move on, you say?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, I Feel Good!, Uncategorized

Have you ever wished people would forget the past and just move on? I sometimes thought this as I listened to the drama of family, friends, and co-workers. I now see this is easier said than done! One sunny afternoon, this thought resonated with me.

While running errands, I suddenly stopped and parked in front of a home I once lived. I had great dreams, hopes, and plans when I moved in! But I was also in the same position as most people: starting a new school experience, a new job, or even a new relationship. You know that place where we sit with so much hope and promise before life happens!

I soon compared my dreams and hopes to my actual experience. I had good times and success along the way, but I also endured a few setbacks and disappointments too. At one point, I even wondered if I had initially made the right decision to move here! I left my car to walk and ponder this period in my life.

Suddenly, I had an epiphany! My experience was necessary and got me to this point in my life! This home and neighborhood came with valuable lessons and personal growth. And yes, I could say the same about my university days, my job, and my relationships along the way. They represented key moments in my life, and so I’m glad I never missed them! I realized it’s not wise to second-guess and obsess about the past! I drove away convinced I should focus on the present and future.

The emotional dimension of wellness offers a window into the heart, mind, and soul. Indeed, I sometimes sort through old messy thoughts but inevitably focus on today and tomorrow. I also ask myself hard questions and face the answers with honesty and courage. Finally, I discovered this practice allows me to process everything and move on!

Families & Wellness

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Caught In the middle, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Uncategorized

This post isn’t about families sharing healthy meals and exercising together. Honestly, we can’t talk about wellness and ignore challenging family dynamics that often directly impact our own. We’re social beings and connected to someone from birth. So, while bingeing on an old TV drama recently, I could see fascinating ways families strengthen and hinder our wellness.

I watched Brothers & Sisters, a 2006 drama with an ensemble cast featuring Sally Field and Calista Flockhart. Calista played a fiery, conservative talk-show host, and Field was her equally opinionated, liberal mom. But unfortunately, politics can bring out the worst in families! Wonderful gatherings quickly descended into battles with wounded egos.

Besides politics, there are other potential minefields in families. For example, just like this tv family, today’s families sometimes confront issues and questions involving abuse, divorce, faith, money, sexuality, etc. Any one of these issues and many others test the strength of family bonds.

Birth order offers a fascinating wrinkle too. The oldest felt pressures and responsibilities their younger siblings didn’t have. And, of course, those in the middle felt abandoned or ignored! But amazingly, resentments also surfaced based on childhood memories, and some memories are decades old!

Being a television show, Brothers & Sisters dramatically introduced family secrets, or those parts of our lives long-buried. But, of course, this family had big, juicy secrets and no filter! Every secret saw the light of day, and there was no respect for privacy or boundaries in the family.

As we all traverse life, sometimes we do so with imperfect family memories and relationships. Yet, being wellness-focused makes us want to live better despite the past. You may conclude that your wellness journey is more important. Indeed, I hope we all smartly navigate our family drama and history and focus on healthy, loving connections. Just look beyond annoyances and distractions, and see clearly.

Hey, are you all in?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Fitness, Lifestyles, Physical Therapy, Uncategorized

It’s easy to be wellness-obsessed and a bit poor in this country! I drew this conclusion after attending a health and wellness conference. I encountered many folks passionate about products and services but struggling to make the living they want and deserve.

Let’s face it; wellness professionals have knowledge, products, and services that could enhance and save lives! They believe in their message, but the financial rewards may not come until later. Some wellness professionals work two jobs, side hustles, and long hours. During the first year of the Pandemic, we saw severe shortfalls in benefits, including paid personal time, sick leave, and health insurance. In addition, some businesses closed forever.

The conference included wellness professionals from A to Z, such as exercise instructors, nurses, x-ray technicians, massage therapists, life coaches, personal trainers, physical therapists, mental health workers, nurses, teachers, etc. Honestly, it would take a big tent to include every wellness professional! But, we know they touch the mind, body, and spirit of clients, customers, and patients every day. So, their connection to wellness is professional and quite personal too.

But I can see the determination and grit of people here. Wellness professionals face challenges in their work but continue to believe in it and want to help others. They continue to work hard, refine skills, improve sales pitches, and focus on the future. They believe in what they do, manage setbacks, and possess remarkable patience for the long haul. I can’t help but think I’m in great company!

What’s in a smile?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Uncategorized

I thought I was just a good, educated consumer researching the backgrounds of potential new doctors. But I was also drawn to their smiles and lack of smiles. Yes, I realized a friendly smile was a tipping point as I made my choices! Am I crazy? Have you thought about the significance of a smile?

I’m drawn to a warm, inviting smile when working with medical professionals. The smile says, “come in, and you can trust me!” In contrast, a doctor with a long list of accomplishments and designations with a cold, stern, and unsmiling face tells me to keep my distance and not get too comfortable. But, honestly, beyond the medical community, I welcome openness and genuineness in the smiles of family and friends.

I’ve learned a smile can be alarmingly deceptive too, in my lifetime. Behind smiles, I’ve sensed insincerity, indifference, and a shocking lack of trustworthiness. In some, I’ve also discovered mockery, hostility, and cunning. Suddenly, my thoughts go to bullies, colleagues, politicians, and a few memorable salesmen.

I’m also more aware of the uncomfortable predicament of “unsmiling” people. I’ve known folks with dental problems, horrible teeth, or no teeth. Smiling is difficult and avoided. One of the best people I know comes to mind. After an accident, he was never one to smile and mastered a genuine tooth-less grin. I suspect we all know and love people who don’t smile or rarely share.

I considered majoring in “Human Development and Social Policy” in college, but I didn’t understand complicated human nature and interactions. Finally, a professor tried to explain how studying this area might help me in my career. As a collegiate, I was too naïve, but as an adult, I appreciated a smile and learned to look beyond it with greater understanding.