Mental health – Live&Work 4healthyu

How to Appreciate a Good Manager: Career Reflections

September 7, 2025 by ETWellness, posted in Careers, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Mental health, Smart and Well

My boss suddenly announced his retirement: “I’ve nothing to prove and I’ve worked a gazillion years!” I clapped and smiled, publicly supporting him, but privately I pondered. It has been a while, so this is a good time to share a few notes from my work diary.

Indeed, he’s been a great manager – fair, fun, honest, and even-tempered. He treats our team like grown-ups, professionals, and gets out of our way! He also doesn’t smother us with his presence or title. He simply manages a team, a WFH one too, with accountability, and respect. How would you rate your own? What would you like to see in your current or next manager?

I can’t assume the newbie will be so agreeable! They all come with different management styles, levels of maturity, and work experience. I know a bad boss can have a huge impact on careers and mental health! The worst ones left a lasting impression and motivated me to treat others well. In time, I found greater confidence and a stronger voice. Family, friends, faith, and mentors all helped. So, keep a strong support system!

I’m not far from my manager in age, so I find myself reflecting on my career journey. There is something exhilarating and inspiring about working with decent, positive, supportive people every day. Managers who listen are rock stars! Great ones share their own stories, their expertise, and mentor others. Everyone should experience at least one commited to their growth and success – not just his or her own!

I’m appreciative of all the lessons I’ve learned. I’m so thankful for work, skills mastered, wonderful colleagues, and a paycheck. But, I also welcome my exit some day. Like my boss, I hope to say I’ve done enough and know it’s time to move on.

How to Prepare for Home Disasters in 2025

January 30, 2025January 30, 2025 by ETWellness, posted in Lifestyles, Mental health, Smart and Well, Uncategorized

We’re all shell-shocked by fires, hurricanes, and more in the news! Several years ago, my family experienced a devastating fire in our home. I worked for an insurance company, so given the horrific California wildfires, I have a different perspective to offer you.

CHECK in with your insurance agent! – Share changes in the family (marriages, divorces, new members, etc.). Discuss any highly valued personal property or new purchases. Have you remodeled recently? Ask about Additional Living Expenses! We lived in a hotel for seven months while contractors rebuilt our home! Overall, are you satisfied with your coverage?

Records – Use your cell phone to take pictures of rooms or make a “home sweet home” video! Next, revisit where you store important documents. Invest in a fire-resistant lock box at home, a more secure safety deposit box, or place documents online in the cloud! Looking back, I lost documents temporarily stored in an accordion file. Please make better choices!

Trauma –The American Red Cross provided crisis support and guidance to our family. Losing your home or being displaced ushers in an overwhelming feeling of unease and personal vulnerability! So, remember, there is no shame or judgment in getting help! Now may also be a great time to donate to relief agencies!

Rebuilding – Be patient. Patience is a lot to expect, but it takes time for insurance adjusters to visit, workers to clear and clean, and contractors to hire. We also learned that contractors work on several projects simultaneously, delaying rebuilding efforts! Housing inspectors must also inspect. Folks, it takes a village to rebuild your home; this process is not overnight.

Somewhere, someone is facing the worst days of their life. Please be proactive! Consider how you can protect yourself and your family! No one thinks a disaster can happen to them. Be well and safe in 2025!

Grief during the holidays

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Grief, Lifestyles, Mental health, The Holidays

Yes, death sometimes happens during the holidays. Suddenly, you are stunned, almost speechless, as you face the loss of a loved one. With a big family, I’ve seen my share of loss. So, allow me to take a minute or two to share some of what I’ve learned.

First, you’re often left with many, many questions! You suddenly realize you’ll never get a chance to talk again, to pose questions, and to get good, honest answers. Your loved one is no longer here.

You’ve got regrets, too. Beyond the conversations you’ll never have again, you can’t spend time together and make new memories. Perhaps you were so busy living your life that you didn’t have time to make your loved one a greater priority. So, you have questions and lots of guilt.

Now, you must drop everything and prioritize gathering to say goodbye. You have travel arrangements, work demands, kids to consider, and other obligations. This time is stressful and challenging. The holidays are a real complication, but there’s never a convenient time to die, is there?

I recently binged on a comedy/drama on Netflix where a main character died suddenly. It was entertainment and TV, but the shock (and plot twist) forced other characters to react. In a raw moment, grieving family and friends dropped f-bombs in the deceased’s name! Family and friends questioned her and their own priorities and choices. There was anger and regret about missed time together. The funeral was about the dead, the living, and how they’ll continue.

I’ve found great comfort in talking with family and friends after the loss of a loved one. They’ve helped me sort through questions I have. After all, we all had a relationship with the same loved one, experienced different interactions, and had rich insight. They could answer some of my questions. But we all had regrets, too. We spoke about missed chances (in our busy lives) to visit and spend more time together. We finally talked about gratitude, simply saying, “I love you, or I’m proud of you,” and allowing ourselves the grace to learn and do better with those left behind.

So, again, death happens. As my friend would say, ‘None of us are missing this finale!’ But I still have a heavy heart. I’ll get up today, head to a favorite park, and take pictures of nature. During my hike, I’m sure I’ll see my friend smiling and encouraging me to go forward and live my best life!

Be kind to yourself and others, and Happy Holidays!

How’s your Mother’s Day?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, I Feel Good!, Mental health, Smart and Well, Uncategorized

I enjoyed a lovely Mother’s Day service at church. Yes, they preached, sang, and presented powerful poetry about the virtues of mothers. Mine has “gone on to glory,” so I can relate to those who miss their moms. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think that as tempting as it is to sing familiar praises, some relationships with mothers are or have been less than perfect! Sorry, but that’s the grown-up truth in this month of May honoring greater awareness of our mental health. So, I’m struck by an overwhelming sense of emotion as I think about mothers. I can admit, I heard you, Mom! My life is richer for her many contributions. Finally, my wings are strong and flight worthy. She gave me all I needed to fly on my own. This is truly one of the greatest virtues of mothers! Indeed, Happy Mother’s Day!

What did you just say?!!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Mental health

Have you ever met someone who offered you more honesty than you were prepared for? Maybe they were “keeping it real” or exhibiting some “profile in courage.” “Since May is “Mental Health Month,” I’ve had a few conversations that made me ponder the value of open, honest communication.

While getting my car serviced, I observed a store employee being asked for assistance. The employee asked the customer to wait for the manager. He added, “I’d help you, but I don’t read or write.” I sat listening to this humble working man. I was privately stunned and mortified, thinking we don’t all share the same fundamental path and life experience. So, I appreciated him for his kindness and work ethic as we chatted, and he located and escorted me to my car.

A polite encounter with a retired neighbor also led to another revelation. I noticed her new car missing in our parking lot and assumed she was out of town. She volunteered, “No, it was repoed!” she said. I expressed sympathy for her plight, sharing that banks are heartless. She smiled and said she hoped to get it back. I walked away thinking I learned more than I ever thought about my neighbor on a carefree evening walk.

We often politely ask, “How are you?” and folks tell us! I soon learned about breakups, bankruptcies, job losses, foreclosures, illnesses, tragic deaths, and other life-altering events. In fact, sometimes, a casual and friendly chat goes deep very quickly. Some people might overshare, but some are living through difficult times and have a lot on their minds.

You can learn much about living and owning your truth from people who’ve “been there and done that.” I first noticed honesty and realness with a relative once she retired and her husband passed. She would reflect on her life and speak of survival and growth. Fortunately, she found her voice! She shared whatever troubled her and refused to keep pain and frustration inside.

Many people don’t abide by old notions of personal and emotional boundaries or being too proud to talk. Talking is good, given the concern about the impact of isolation and loneliness today among the young and old. People aren’t disappearing and hiding their painful or embarrassing truths! A friend reminded me that people must be honest and open; how else could you know someone without this? And how could you possibly help without putting the truth on the table?