Finding My Place in Health & Wellness

How to Appreciate a Good Manager: Career Reflections

September 7, 2025 by ETWellness, posted in Careers, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Mental health, Smart and Well

My boss suddenly announced his retirement: “I’ve nothing to prove and I’ve worked a gazillion years!” I clapped and smiled, publicly supporting him, but privately I pondered. It has been a while, so this is a good time to share a few notes from my work diary.

Indeed, he’s been a great manager – fair, fun, honest, and even-tempered. He treats our team like grown-ups, professionals, and gets out of our way! He also doesn’t smother us with his presence or title. He simply manages a team, a WFH one too, with accountability, and respect. How would you rate your own? What would you like to see in your current or next manager?

I can’t assume the newbie will be so agreeable! They all come with different management styles, levels of maturity, and work experience. I know a bad boss can have a huge impact on careers and mental health! The worst ones left a lasting impression and motivated me to treat others well. In time, I found greater confidence and a stronger voice. Family, friends, faith, and mentors all helped. So, keep a strong support system!

I’m not far from my manager in age, so I find myself reflecting on my career journey. There is something exhilarating and inspiring about working with decent, positive, supportive people every day. Managers who listen are rock stars! Great ones share their own stories, their expertise, and mentor others. Everyone should experience at least one commited to their growth and success – not just his or her own!

I’m appreciative of all the lessons I’ve learned. I’m so thankful for work, skills mastered, wonderful colleagues, and a paycheck. But, I also welcome my exit some day. Like my boss, I hope to say I’ve done enough and know it’s time to move on.

Start Strong – I wish somebody had told me how!

November 15, 2024 by ETWellness, posted in Careers, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Lifestyles, Smart and Well

Sometimes, I’m wise and compelled to share! A young family member recently joined the world of work! No one asked me, but I shared a few things I’ve learned over the years:

Your first job is your gateway to the “real” world! You’ll gain valuable insight into companies, industries, products, and services. You’ll find the culture of your job is very different from school! Your work now will add greater depth to your formal education. After this, no employer can salute your education but claim you don’t have experience!

So, relax and stay awhile! You are in a great place to be a newbie, ask many questions, and learn. But keep an open mind and stay alert, too! With experience and a more extensive network, another job may soon speak to you! Maybe you’ll make a move within the same company! Remember, this is your first job and not your last!

You’ve got money, honey! Your new shiny paycheck offers power and responsibility! So, get familiar with the “B” word – budget, and allow for fun, clothes, rent, travel, savings, etc. I highly recommend financial guru Suzy Orman and her book, “Young Fabulous & Broke!” I want you to be young, fabulous, and financially savvy!

You’ve got a boss! Your boss is not your parent, buddy, or favorite professor. Learn what is essential to her and your role and keep the lines of communication open! Accountability is important. Expect feedback from the boss, customers, and colleagues too! Listen and grow with this feedback!

Rock some healthy choices! You’ll soon find too many pizza parties, cake days, and donuts at work. Food is everywhere, and there is plenty of free-flowing alcohol when entertaining customers. So, as work becomes busy or crazy, stay grounded with family, friends, faith, exercise, and hobbies! You must take care of your mind, body, and spirit.

Yes, newbie, I’ve learned a few things from working! Unfortunately, I was often bored and impatient at my first job, and I thought I was destined for something else. I learned to chill and appreciate the moment, and the benefits and opportunities came! Once again, congratulations, young professionals! Pay attention and start strong.

Grief during the holidays

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Grief, Lifestyles, Mental health, The Holidays

Yes, death sometimes happens during the holidays. Suddenly, you are stunned, almost speechless, as you face the loss of a loved one. With a big family, I’ve seen my share of loss. So, allow me to take a minute or two to share some of what I’ve learned.

First, you’re often left with many, many questions! You suddenly realize you’ll never get a chance to talk again, to pose questions, and to get good, honest answers. Your loved one is no longer here.

You’ve got regrets, too. Beyond the conversations you’ll never have again, you can’t spend time together and make new memories. Perhaps you were so busy living your life that you didn’t have time to make your loved one a greater priority. So, you have questions and lots of guilt.

Now, you must drop everything and prioritize gathering to say goodbye. You have travel arrangements, work demands, kids to consider, and other obligations. This time is stressful and challenging. The holidays are a real complication, but there’s never a convenient time to die, is there?

I recently binged on a comedy/drama on Netflix where a main character died suddenly. It was entertainment and TV, but the shock (and plot twist) forced other characters to react. In a raw moment, grieving family and friends dropped f-bombs in the deceased’s name! Family and friends questioned her and their own priorities and choices. There was anger and regret about missed time together. The funeral was about the dead, the living, and how they’ll continue.

I’ve found great comfort in talking with family and friends after the loss of a loved one. They’ve helped me sort through questions I have. After all, we all had a relationship with the same loved one, experienced different interactions, and had rich insight. They could answer some of my questions. But we all had regrets, too. We spoke about missed chances (in our busy lives) to visit and spend more time together. We finally talked about gratitude, simply saying, “I love you, or I’m proud of you,” and allowing ourselves the grace to learn and do better with those left behind.

So, again, death happens. As my friend would say, ‘None of us are missing this finale!’ But I still have a heavy heart. I’ll get up today, head to a favorite park, and take pictures of nature. During my hike, I’m sure I’ll see my friend smiling and encouraging me to go forward and live my best life!

Be kind to yourself and others, and Happy Holidays!

Hey, what’s your story?

August 26, 2023 by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Lifestyles

My fellow travelers eyed me curiously as one older lady inquired at the dinner table, “What’s your story?” With all eyes focused on me, I laughed, put down my fork and knife, and shared. I had a story and purpose for visiting Cuba.

Years later, that moment stayed with me as I read a self-published autobiography of a family member. Some in the family wondered what she had to say and why. One person admitted she didn’t care for this type of writing but enjoyed books about celebrities. She believed they had great stories!

You couldn’t be more wrong, I thought. You needn’t be rich, famous, or popular to have a story! You don’t need to be infamous or saintly, either. Protagonists also don’t have to be esteemed artists, musicians, politicians, scientists, etc. to have a story worth telling!

In my cousin’s book, she shared remarkable accomplishments in public service, church, education, and law enforcement. Her humanity, grit, and faith appealed to me as she discovered her life’s purpose. She was a child, woman, mother, and daughter taking steps forward and backward with seismic missteps. Her story was raw and authentic.

I’ve also loved books about athletes, actors, billionaires, and wellness gurus chronicling their paths to fame and fortune. Why do we put them and their stories on a pedestal but not show respect for ordinary folks who aren’t fixtures in the news? Someone must have a crazy, wild, or dramatic “movie of the week” sized story to impress us!

These are strange times, and our overly stimulated senses make us demanding! Instead of simply being curious and open to whatever experience a writer offers, we look to be entertained and enthralled.

When I shared “my story” about why I traveled to Cuba many years ago, I knew my trip was a small part of my life journey. My table listened because we all had our reasons for traveling. One day, I hope to share my larger story in a book. I salute my cousin for boldly sharing her autobiography and feel inspired.

“Hon, have you found your place?”

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Uncategorized

If you close your eyes, I bet you can think of many places you once thought were heaven! You arrived there and found beauty, contentment, inspiration, peace, and more. For example, I visited an enchanting, rural, sun-kissed retreat in the southeast a few years ago. It still is magnificent. But today, I realize my sense of the perfect place has changed, and I see people, places, and things differently.

The perfect place is more than just a fantastic beach, lake, or national park. Your place could be a favorite city, town, or country. Your place is a long-desired job, an industry, business, or profession that allows you to be your best or earn a living. Perhaps your place is a church, gym, home, school, or any location that captures your mind, body, and spirit. I discovered my happy place after moving from a cold state to a more temperate climate, and now I love winters at home!

Perhaps your place is with people. You feel like you’re in the right place with great friends, family, a loving partner or spouse, or whomever you call your people. Once again, the list could be long here. In your mind and heart, you know when the right folks surround you!

Beyond places and people, we find joy in things. My perfect list included a summer night baseball game with fireworks, a championship basketball game, concerts, and fun 5K and 10K races. My perfect things included roller skating, movies, and great art at local museums. And finally, my happy place had good books, writing, and blogs, all things I could lose myself in.

A friend once suggested I stop searching for a perfect place in life and focus on the here and now! He thought I was missing something, not fully appreciating the moment, and always looking for something else. My feelings about my happy place have evolved as I’ve gotten older. Indeed, I must give myself the time, patience, and grace to enjoy the many experiences before me that confirm – I’ve found my place!

How’s your Mother’s Day?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, I Feel Good!, Mental health, Smart and Well, Uncategorized

I enjoyed a lovely Mother’s Day service at church. Yes, they preached, sang, and presented powerful poetry about the virtues of mothers. Mine has “gone on to glory,” so I can relate to those who miss their moms. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think that as tempting as it is to sing familiar praises, some relationships with mothers are or have been less than perfect! Sorry, but that’s the grown-up truth in this month of May honoring greater awareness of our mental health. So, I’m struck by an overwhelming sense of emotion as I think about mothers. I can admit, I heard you, Mom! My life is richer for her many contributions. Finally, my wings are strong and flight worthy. She gave me all I needed to fly on my own. This is truly one of the greatest virtues of mothers! Indeed, Happy Mother’s Day!

What did you just say?!!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Mental health

Have you ever met someone who offered you more honesty than you were prepared for? Maybe they were “keeping it real” or exhibiting some “profile in courage.” “Since May is “Mental Health Month,” I’ve had a few conversations that made me ponder the value of open, honest communication.

While getting my car serviced, I observed a store employee being asked for assistance. The employee asked the customer to wait for the manager. He added, “I’d help you, but I don’t read or write.” I sat listening to this humble working man. I was privately stunned and mortified, thinking we don’t all share the same fundamental path and life experience. So, I appreciated him for his kindness and work ethic as we chatted, and he located and escorted me to my car.

A polite encounter with a retired neighbor also led to another revelation. I noticed her new car missing in our parking lot and assumed she was out of town. She volunteered, “No, it was repoed!” she said. I expressed sympathy for her plight, sharing that banks are heartless. She smiled and said she hoped to get it back. I walked away thinking I learned more than I ever thought about my neighbor on a carefree evening walk.

We often politely ask, “How are you?” and folks tell us! I soon learned about breakups, bankruptcies, job losses, foreclosures, illnesses, tragic deaths, and other life-altering events. In fact, sometimes, a casual and friendly chat goes deep very quickly. Some people might overshare, but some are living through difficult times and have a lot on their minds.

You can learn much about living and owning your truth from people who’ve “been there and done that.” I first noticed honesty and realness with a relative once she retired and her husband passed. She would reflect on her life and speak of survival and growth. Fortunately, she found her voice! She shared whatever troubled her and refused to keep pain and frustration inside.

Many people don’t abide by old notions of personal and emotional boundaries or being too proud to talk. Talking is good, given the concern about the impact of isolation and loneliness today among the young and old. People aren’t disappearing and hiding their painful or embarrassing truths! A friend reminded me that people must be honest and open; how else could you know someone without this? And how could you possibly help without putting the truth on the table?

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

OMG, the finish line!

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Fitness, I Feel Good!

I wanted to experience the waves and adulation of cheering crowds and the loud bells and whistles on race day! A lovely professional photograph and medal would be sweet too! Instead, I arrived at the finish line of my virtual 10K alone, but with a new appreciation for all that motivates, inspires, and strengthens me in my health and wellness journey.

I worked diligently with a local YMCA training club. I was well prepared but wasn’t crazy about the logistics of getting to and from the big event, let alone twenty-five thousand athletes and visitors. Finally, after an awful night with little sleep, I woke late and set out on a personal timed race. At this moment, I saw my first motivation (me!) and an intense need to get the job done! I told myself that this day was like every other one, that I needed to move, and that the exercise made me feel great! Days like this are often solitary for me but no less powerful.

As I completed my 10K, I realized how inspired I’ve been by family members no longer with us. Some had significant health issues. Some wished they could have been more active in their adult years. I also thought about people I know who wish they could be more physically active right now but can’t. But then, I saw their faces as I exercised – grinning, smiling, waving, and encouraging me on race day!

I previously shared how much I enjoyed practicing with the YMCA training group and missed my team! But on race day, I felt their presence and was empowered and inspired by their stories. Some had injuries and overcame illnesses. Some managed busy schedules and stressful jobs. One shared how depression and a breakup challenged her. Today, we’re all now on the other side of everyday challenges. This realization made me feel pretty darn good!

I approached the finish line (a hot, sweaty mess!) with a smile. The sun shone, the clouds held the rain, and the day was unseasonably warm. Once again, I realized the outdoors and exercise can feel like a spiritual, grounding and life-affirming experience. I cooled down and thanked God for my safe journey. I felt great at the finish line and look forward to doing this again!

Well, this is my birthday, isn’t it?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Aging with grace!, Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Fitness, I Feel Good!, Lifestyles, Smart and Well, Uncategorized

Sometimes, even birthdays, become enmeshed in politics! I was reminded of this when I asked a colleague to not broadcast my day on the company intranet. She replied, “But, everyone will think we don’t care about you!” Yes, birthdays are more political than they should be! Consider this:

Big cakes and little cakes! At work, I’ve seen beautiful, elaborately decorated cakes for some, and last-minute, generic Walmart cakes for others. Why the difference? Well, one person, a manager or key employee is highly-regarded and/or popular, and the other colleague isn’t! Some employees are offered “group cakes” for multiple birthdays in one month or quarter. One clerical manager explained we’d have a cake every week otherwise! Have you ever wondered what your birthday treat says about your place in the office?

Have you experienced a birthday-themed marketing campaign? Instead of wishing us well, we hear from political campaigns and non-profits requesting donations in honor of other people or causes! I must admit, this personal appeal is most annoying to me. Wouldn’t you be annoyed if anyone told you what you should get them for their BD? Family and friends are okay, but a grinning politician?

People can be amazingly insensitive! With so much attention focused on Diversity & Inclusion at work, I’m not sure how “Over the Hill!” party themes would work today, but this was the norm in some offices. I also recall a manager confiding in me how much she wanted to include an employee who doesn’t celebrate holidays and birthdays. She wanted a close and supportive team! So, I asked if she ever considered just respecting the employee and her wishes? My question was met with stony silence.

So, here I am with another birthday at work! I used to take a day or week off to avoid the attention, then my determined manager planned my “surprise” before or after vacation! So, how difficult could it be to celebrate and eat cake? Honestly, I don’t want to be anti-social or politically incorrect, but I prefer my birthday to be mine! I’d love to keep other people and their agendas out of my cake business! And before I forget,

Happy Birthday all “First-Quarter Babies!”

Ready to really Spring Forward?

Featured by ETWellness, posted in Finding My Place in Health & Wellness, Fitness, I Feel Good!, Lifestyles, Physical Therapy, Smart and Well, Uncategorized

I wanted to honor my brother by running a marathon with a nonprofit organization that supported him during his illness. A big goal for me, but no execution! So, I found a way to honor him and challenge myself with a local YMCA 10K Training Team! Here’s what I learned:

First, I discovered that less is more (and healthier) with a 10K! My doctor approved and even high-fived me for my interest. But, while my ego wants to go big, my body says no! So, I work with a great bunch of folks every Saturday for ten weeks before the big event. We are motivated to prepare for and complete a popular community-sponsored race and go on this journey together.

Second, it’s exhilarating to train with a group! Ours include runners and walkers, a/k/a “Movers and Shakers!” Our volunteer coaches are passionate about fitness and training. Time flies as we exercise at our own pace, conversing and breathing effortlessly. We are not competitive but focused on an end goal. I’m honestly shocked at how quickly time passes!

Third, an experienced coach is also an excellent partner! Our head coach leads with attention to detail, including lengthy weekly email updates, printed directions for our course, pep talks, and boundless enthusiasm. Our other coaches space out to start and trail behind with slow pokes (like me)! We enjoy tips on hydration, proper shoes and clothes, great stretching, warm-up, and cool-down exercises, and safety tips (staying alert when alone, managing traffic, cell phones, etc.). Our personal weekday programs prepare us for longer Saturday training sessions.

Okay, it’s almost Spring and time to store your winter coat! Are you ready to shake up and move your fitness to a new level? Consider a training group. Maybe, we’ll see you on the road!